Worthless
by kurisu christina
Summary: "I couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't do anything but stand there dumbly and stare at the huge red letters scrawled across Siobhan's picture. 'Whore.'" oneshot, companion to "Oblivion". Juliet's vandalism cuts deeper than intended. RE UPDATED


**Disclaimer: I don't own Ringer.**

**A/N: Yeah, so this is sort of a companion to "Oblivion" it's basically Bridget's feelings Juliet writing "whore" on the picture, and what she thinks it means.**

_Whore._

_I couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't do anything but stand there dumbly and stare at the huge red letters scrawled across Siobhan's picture._

_It had to be Gemma, I was sure of it. She had come here to trash the house, to show Andrew that I was a cheating liar that was sleeping with Henry and was desperate enough to say I was my twin. She was going to tell him, and there was nothing I could do._

"_Oh my God."_

_Andrew barely responded to me, staring at the single word we couldn't tear our eyes away from. "Hello?" he called to the living room. _

"_Andrew, wait—!" I said, too late to stop him as he went in, where more destruction and Gemma surely waited. I don't know why I even followed him._

When I saw Juliet and her friend I breathed a sigh of relief. It was just her, acting out because she was upset over something. Probably her Mom. Then again, she could have found out about the affair. She could have heard it from Gemma, or she could have known for months. The possibilities were endless.

Juliet and Andrew went off somewhere, leaving me to panic and wonder how I could possibly find the truth. _Whore. _Out there, for everyone to see. Gemma was going to love that.

And then she came to me, looking at my wrist for a scar I didn't have from a cooking class I would never have been able to afford and wouldn't have taken anyway. She was stunned and then she was angry, but I wasn't really scared until she came to see Andrew and I.

When she was standing there I could see her smirking at the words on Siobhan's picture, finding some sort of irony that Siobhan had been the one that had cheated. I think she knew it was Juliet.

The proposal scared me more than anything. I just couldn't believe Gemma wanted me to sleep with Henry so she could prove that he was cheating. Why couldn't she get someone else to seduce him, someone else to do her dirty work? I wasn't that person anymore. I wasn't the filthy whore, the stupid little slut, the prostitute druggie that would do anything for a little money. I couldn't do it, because it was so dark where I was already that even the smallest thing could send me over the edge. I didn't think I'd come back this time. If I went through with it, my life would be over, both as Siobhan and Bridget. The only person that would want me would be Henry, and I didn't want Henry. He was hopeless. He just liked the attention Siobhan had given him, because according to what Gemma had told me before, the kids took up a lot of her time and Henry didn't like that. It seemed like the same with Siobhan. Both of them had felt like they were being ignored and they did the stupidest thing possible.

I almost broke. That word was still there, in the red lipstick letters that told me exactly what I was because I knew I was going to have to do it. On my way to the bathroom I stopped there, trying to scrub the stuff off with my hand. It didn't work. I turned to drugs because of that, because I knew that I would always be a whore. I would always do the stupidest things, like Siobhan, and there was nothing to stop me. In the end, though, I couldn't do it. I threw the pills away, down the sink.

Gemma knew what I was, for real, when I went to tell her that I couldn't go through with it.

"_How do you think Andrew's going to feel when he finds out his wife is dead and he's been sleeping next to a slut, prostitute, _whore_?" she asked._

_I stiffened._

"_I did my research." Gemma said, catching the way I looked down._

That time it did mean something. She knew she had a weapon against me. Being what I was hurt me. I didn't like to think about it, and it was like that word was everywhere now. It hadn't meant so much when Gemma said it to me in the Hamptons, because fear and pain kept me from comprehending what she had said, but she had meant it then too. Now there was a hint of malice in her voice, not just anger and shock.

But she didn't tell. I leaned against the wall, breathing slowly. I was okay now, because she agreed not to tell anyone, and all I had left to do was get rid of the word that still haunted me.

I walked toward Siobhan's picture, bucket of water in hand. I wondered if she Siobhan cheating on Andrew with Henry was a pattern, because she had been the one Andrew cheated with. At least I had reconciled myself with the fact that maybe this time Juliet had believed my apology, and that she hadn't really meant what she wrote the way I took it.

Juliet appeared from the doorway. "You're doing it wrong." She said timidly, holding up a bottle of some sort of cleaner. "Here."

"Thank you." It was time to make amends and forget the past. I couldn't let words hurt me anymore, because being here, with Andrew, made me realize something.

I wasn't worthless.

**A/N: Yup. Angst. **

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